The Lunatick's Ravings
Welcome to McUniversity Thank You Drive Through.
Well we predicted it when those signs first went up. They made this campus look more like a fast food place than a university. We all knew it was bound to happen and it did. At about 4:30pm on Wednesday November 11th some poor starving individual mistook the south entrance to the university for a drive thru to a fast food restaurant. Well this individual went right through the sign and demolished it. The aftermath looked like something seen only in those cheesy 80's chase movies. The car was sticking half way through the sign with the shattered pieces of the sign all over. All that was missing was the light bar and either Bandit or Bo and Luke driving off laughing and waving (well it would have helped if the car was a cop car too but you get the point).
The best part is the care taken to ensure nothing would happen to the signs when they were first constructed. It was anchored in concrete. The wires were underground and ran up through the base so they couldn't be tampered with. Finally the sign itself was graffiti proof. An attempt to deface the sign could be taken care of with a simple cloth and soap. What they should have done was crafted it out of titanium, or something that could withstand an assault by a motor vehicle.
I can just imagine the poor driver. Probably starving after a long day at work. Looking for a fast food drive-thru and then seeing the sign at the entrance. The ethereal glow from the sign filling their eyes. The driver struck dumb by it like a deer in front of headlights. Finally at the last minute before turning into the entrance the driver discovered it was not a drive-thru but a university. He went to avoid the entrance so he could find a fast food joint (we all know just how good the food is here, BARFFFFF!). Instead he went crashing into the sign. Caused partially by confusion and partially by rage that a university would have the audacity to imitate a respectable food service. I think ramming those signs is something a lot of us have wanted to do (along with destroying that dam county park that used to be the painted rock, but that is a conversation for another day). A costly mistake for the driver, however I think it is safe to say that far more damage was done to the sign than the car. All that was left of the sign was a single rack of lights, the base and the two concrete pillars, one held on only by the wires that power the sign.
In a way it is symbolic of this university. The new symbol and signs were created for our own President Kenny. Her first duty as president was to remake the symbol of the university (which was only done a few years prior). The idea seemed to be that by changing the symbol of the university that it would make all the problems go away. A new symbol would unite the university together behind it and have students and staff joining together and singing. I DON'T THINK SO! All it did was waste a lot of money including replacing a series of sign that were less than 2 years old. So now the sign and the symbol lay shattered, broken, like hundreds of things in this university (hell I'm not even sure what the name of it is anymore). The wonderful beautification process of putting pieces of art and tables every where, that has resulted in rusted hulks everywhere. As for the tables, bring back the benches, bushes and trees they were far more comfortable and brought a peaceful air to campus. How about Kenny's idea of getting rid of all the lines in admin and replacing them with walk-in offices to make the place more attentive to individuals. Now you sit there trying to get peoples attention, since you sit in a waiting area it is easier for them to ignore you. The food service, We don't even want to touch that (especially the food, new and improved yeah right, new service different scam). What do I know though, these are just the ravings of The Lunatick.
Copyright ©1998 The Lunatick