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Alternate names and slogans for ambulance companies (see if you can find yours).

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acadian ambulance is AIDS= acadian induced divorce syndrome

ACT- Another Cheap Taxi, Arroz Con Tacos


Ambulance Service of Manchester = "Always Sombody else's Medic"

Amb*Trans - Scam Trans

AmCare - Scamcare or Damn Scare

AMR- Another Murderer Responding, Award for Murder Recipient, Another Medicare Rejection, Another Mexican Replacement, All My Retards, Ambulance Might Respond, Another Mediocre Response, Another missed rescue, a-moral rejects, Ahh My Ride, Ambulance Might Respond ,Ain't My Responsibility or Another Medicare  Run, Amercian Money Response Another Medicare Run,  AMR spelled backwards is RMA, Ain't My Responsibilty, Almost Made a Rescue, About Made a Response, Americas Most Reduclous,  American Medical Retards, Assaulted My Rectum, Assholes, Morons, and Rejects

AMR West = Assaulted My Rectum Without Ever Saying Thanks

 (I feel the love for AMR they have almost earned their own page).

AREA Services- Scare Ya Shitless

Associated Ambulance-Assassinated Ambulance

Bay Flight- Bay Fright

Bensonhurst Vol. Amb. = BensonWorst

BVAC- Beacon Volunteer Ambulance Service - bringing volunterring area carcasses 

Cape Elizabeth EMS-Muppet Squad

Capital District Ambulance- Capital Diaster 

Care Ambulance - Can't Afford Real Equipment (San Diego, Ca)  

Care Plus- Careless 

Cataldo Amubulance Company - I've been Ca-dildo-ed. CA-DILDO "Any cat'l do"

Catskill Ambulance (greene county) - scratch and sniff, ratskill

CCAS, Cass Co Ambulance Service -  Come Catch Annoying Shitheads, Come Cull Another Sap, Cass Co Assisted Suicide 

Central Onieda County (ny) Volunteer Ambulance Corps ( COCVAC ) just say it out loud. 

CHS- Come Here Slaughterer

Citywide - Shittywide

CMC – Crawling Maniac Cadavers  

Community ambulance Oakland mi "comedy"

Copake Rescue (columbia county) - Cupcake Rescue 

County Life EMS - Country Death

Coxsackie Rescue (greene county) - coxsuckie

Dominion Ambulance Service (a.k.a D A S ) = Dumb Ass Service

Elliot's Ambulance - Hellion's Anguish

Empire- Scumpire

EMS- Every Major Shithead

E.M.T.S.-Emergency Medical Transfer Service, Everything Mechanical Takes a Shit

FDNY*EMS- Finally Decent? Not Yet, Finally Decided New York's Emergency Medicine Sucks

Flushing Volunteer Ambulance- Fucking Volunteer Ambulance, Fucking Outa Business

Grady County EMS - Grady County Mess

Greenport Rescue (columbia county) - greensnort

glen oaks ambulance- glen jokes

GLMC- Grenada Lake Medical Center 

Golden Cross - Wooden Cross death cross  

Guardian Services - Prophylactic Substances 


Health span - death scam

Highlands Ambulance Service = Badlands

Jan-care ambulance-  jan don't care, jan-cab, jan-careless

Jefferson County EMS Lou, KY home of the "GOD SQUAD" A.K.A. "THE EMS NAZIS"

Jeffersonville Vol Rescue Squad = Jefferson kill Vol Rescue Squad

JHMC- Just Hauling Morbid Cadavers

Kunkel Ambulance - Klunker Ambulance 

LAFD : Lost Ambulance Find Dodge 

Lifeline- Flatline 

Lifelink - deathlink 

Life Star= Death Star

Life-Stat- "Life's Shit Ambulance"

Life Support Ambulance- Life Sucks Ambulance, Lizard Slinging Ambulance

Life Tech - Life Wreck 

Long Island College Hospital.....Long Island Carnage

Lubbock Aid Ambulance - Lubbock Gay Ambulance 

Mary Immaculate....Very Inaccurate

Med-Care- Med-Scare

MedCord Ambulance Service-  DeadCorp, the green weenies, MedCorps

Medic 1 - Maggot Run or Medic None

Medic One - Murder One, Ghetto One

Med*Star - Death Star

Medstat - Bed-flat, Med-flatline

Metrocare - MetroSCARE, Making Every Tech Run Or Cry After Real Emergencies, MetroCab

Midwood Ambulance: Shitwood, Driftwood, Deadwood

MLSS - Medics Lowering Several Standards

Mohawk Ambulance Service- SlowHawk, Medicare Ambulette Service, 

Montgomery county hospital District-MCHD more chaos had daily,

Mutual Aid Ambulance-Mutual Disgrace

Nelson Ambulance Service - Nads Anus Sphincter, Never Assist Servicemen

Northern Dutchess Paramedics - no damn paramedics, no dice, prick, not doing patient care

NORTHSHORE AMBULANCE- No-Show Ambulance , Not Sure we're an Ambulance Service, North Snore

Northern Oswego County Ambulance: NO Care Available

NSLIJ- Never Say Liability Insurance is Just

paramed- scare em dead

Palmetto Ambulance Service - Palm ghetto

Patriot Ambulance - Pay-me-Not

Peach Springs EMS: Putrid Smell Every Meal Spoiled

Philmont Rescue (columbia county) - filthmont

Priority one- Promenently none (a group of FUCK ups)

QHC- Queer healing Clinicians

Quality Care Ambulance - Quality Scare,  Quality Queers

Richlands Vol Rescue Squad = Deadlands Vol Rescue Squad

River Medical Inc.(RMI): Rancid Meat Inside

Rockingham- Rockinghorse, Suckingham TalkingHand, Cock-in-Hand

RPS - Really Poor Standards

Rural Metro- Rigger Mortis, Retro Mural, Rural Deathrow, Rural Uh-oh, Rectal Shithole, Rural Morons, Roadkill Metro,  Squirrel Ghetto, Urinal Metro Oral Rectal (NEPA)

Saint  Mary's....Saint Scarry

SkyFlight Care (Coatesville, PA): SkyScare, ScareFlight

EMS - SMU Ottawa  Every Medic Suffers So Must U
Scott Twp EMS (STEMS) - Some Times EMS

Sloper and Willen - Sloppy and Willing, sloppy willy, Sloppy but Willing Some Will Continuesly Ass Suck 

Southern Columbia Ambulance (columbia county) - southern corruption

S&S Ambulance- Slow and shity

Stat'Im Ambulance- Stab'Em Ambulance

Starcare V (air ambulance in Lincoln, Nebraska): StarScare v, DeathStar V

Stat MedEvac - "splat medevac"

Stofcheck - Stofwreck 

TLC Ambulance; Tough Luck Charlie; The Last Chance; Tug Lug and Carry; Torture Little Children; Trish's Little Company 

Transcare- TransSCARE

Tri-Lakes - Die-Lakes


UMC-EMS : Unsatisfied Medics Can't Earn Money (from) State (thanks jocko)

Universal Ambulance macomb mi "U - Haul"

UHMC- Uninhibited Human Major Culling

Valley Air Care= Valley Air Scare "Death From Above"

VCU LifeEvac (Richmond, VA): Lestat 1 (for a while, it seemed they only flew at night)

WAVAC: What, another volunteer's ass canned?

WESTMED - BreastFed

Willie Goss Ambulance - Will he go to hell amb.



Alternate Slogans

Bell Ambulance - If it says bell on the side, your probably dead inside!  

FDNY*EMS -When you absolutly, positively, can not afford a cab! 

Hatzolah (orthodox Jewish VAC) - operating under a higher medical authority 

KCH - Where patients check in, but they don't check out. 

LICH (Long Island College Hospital) - Lucky I Can Hop, Likely Imminent Code Here 

Maimonides - I'm on my knees '

Medic One-"First In Care, Last On Scene"

Many years ago, rather than try to make any improvements, the mucky-mucks at NYC*EMS decided to have a contest for a catchy slogan. They never did pick a winner, but some notable submissions were: Better too late than never, NYC*EMS - When you positively, absolutely have to be there overnight. (I heard that FEDEX threatened to sue, because they were much faster and more reliable), Remember. You can't spell MESS without EMS. 

Fallon Ambulance - Slogan: Help me! I've fallon and I can't get up.

If your company isn't listed send the name and if already existing alternate name Add your idea to our forums

I had no idea how popular this would be.  Thanks to all who submitted!

For all who take offence to this list This list is made 99% on reader submissions most of these companies I have never heard of.  This list is not derogatory but merely made to poke fun at your company or rival company.  In other words: Get a sense of humor!



Last Updated: 03/18/05 13:17



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