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Alternate names and slogans for ambulance companies (see if you can find yours).
C G M S
acadian ambulance is AIDS= acadian induced divorce syndrome
ACT- Another Cheap Taxi, Arroz Con Tacos
ACTION AMBULANCE- Traction
Ambulance Service of Manchester = "Always Sombody else's Medic"
Amb*Trans - Scam Trans
AmCare - Scamcare or Damn Scare
AMR- Another Murderer Responding, Award for Murder Recipient,
Another Medicare Rejection, Another Mexican Replacement, All My Retards,
Ambulance Might Respond, Another Mediocre Response, Another missed rescue, a-moral
rejects, Ahh My Ride, Ambulance Might Respond ,Ain't My Responsibility or Another Medicare
Run, Amercian Money Response Another Medicare Run, AMR spelled backwards is RMA,
Ain't My Responsibilty, Almost Made a Rescue, About Made a Response, Americas Most
Reduclous, American Medical Retards, Assaulted My Rectum, Assholes, Morons, and Rejects
AMR West = Assaulted My Rectum Without Ever Saying Thanks
(I feel the love for AMR they have almost earned their own page).
AREA Services- Scare Ya Shitless
Associated Ambulance-Assassinated Ambulance
Bay Flight- Bay Fright
Bensonhurst Vol. Amb. = BensonWorst
BVAC- Beacon Volunteer Ambulance Service - bringing volunterring area carcasses
Cape Elizabeth EMS-Muppet Squad
Capital District Ambulance- Capital Diaster
Care Ambulance - Can't Afford Real Equipment (San Diego, Ca)
Care Plus- Careless
Cataldo Amubulance Company - I've been Ca-dildo-ed. CA-DILDO "Any cat'l do"
Catskill Ambulance (greene county) - scratch and sniff, ratskill
CCAS, Cass Co Ambulance Service - Come Catch Annoying Shitheads, Come Cull Another Sap, Cass Co Assisted Suicide
Central Onieda County (ny) Volunteer Ambulance Corps ( COCVAC ) just say it out loud.
CHS- Come Here Slaughterer
Citywide - Shittywide
CMC Crawling Maniac Cadavers
Community ambulance Oakland mi "comedy"
Copake Rescue (columbia county) - Cupcake Rescue
County Life EMS - Country Death
Coxsackie Rescue (greene county) - coxsuckie
Dominion Ambulance Service (a.k.a D A S ) = Dumb Ass Service
Elliot's Ambulance - Hellion's Anguish
EMS- Every Major Shithead
E.M.T.S.-Emergency Medical Transfer Service, Everything Mechanical Takes a Shit
FDNY*EMS- Finally Decent? Not Yet, Finally Decided New York's Emergency Medicine Sucks
Flushing Volunteer Ambulance- Fucking Volunteer Ambulance, Fucking Outa Business
Grady County EMS - Grady County Mess
Greenport Rescue (columbia county) - greensnort
glen oaks ambulance- glen jokes
GLMC- Grenada Lake Medical Center
Golden Cross - Wooden Cross death cross
Guardian Services - Prophylactic Substances
HEMSI---- HARDLY EVER MAKES SENSE INCORPORATED
Health span - death scam
Highlands Ambulance Service = Badlands
Jan-care ambulance- jan don't care, jan-cab, jan-careless
Jefferson County EMS Lou, KY home of the "GOD SQUAD" A.K.A. "THE EMS NAZIS"
Jeffersonville Vol Rescue Squad = Jefferson kill Vol Rescue Squad
JHMC- Just Hauling Morbid Cadavers
Kunkel Ambulance - Klunker Ambulance
LAFD : Lost Ambulance Find Dodge
Lifelink - deathlink
Life Star= Death Star
Life-Stat- "Life's Shit Ambulance"
Life Support Ambulance- Life Sucks Ambulance, Lizard Slinging Ambulance
Life Tech - Life Wreck
Long Island College Hospital.....Long Island Carnage
Lubbock Aid Ambulance - Lubbock Gay Ambulance
Mary Immaculate....Very Inaccurate
MedCord Ambulance Service- DeadCorp, the green weenies, MedCorps
Medic 1 - Maggot Run or Medic None
Medic One - Murder One, Ghetto One
Med*Star - Death Star
Medstat - Bed-flat, Med-flatline
Metrocare - MetroSCARE, Making Every Tech Run Or Cry After Real Emergencies, MetroCab
Midwood Ambulance: Shitwood, Driftwood, Deadwood
MLSS - Medics Lowering Several Standards
Mohawk Ambulance Service- SlowHawk, Medicare Ambulette Service,
Montgomery county hospital District-MCHD more chaos had daily,
Mutual Aid Ambulance-Mutual Disgrace
Nelson Ambulance Service - Nads Anus Sphincter, Never Assist Servicemen
Northern Dutchess Paramedics - no damn paramedics, no dice, prick, not doing patient care
NORTHSHORE AMBULANCE- No-Show Ambulance , Not Sure we're an Ambulance Service, North Snore
Northern Oswego County Ambulance: NO Care Available
NSLIJ- Never Say Liability Insurance is Just
paramed- scare em dead
Palmetto Ambulance Service - Palm ghetto
Patriot Ambulance - Pay-me-Not
Peach Springs EMS: Putrid Smell Every Meal Spoiled
Philmont Rescue (columbia county) - filthmont
Priority one- Promenently none (a group of FUCK ups)
QHC- Queer healing Clinicians
Quality Care Ambulance - Quality Scare, Quality Queers
Richlands Vol Rescue Squad = Deadlands Vol Rescue Squad
River Medical Inc.(RMI): Rancid Meat Inside
Rockingham- Rockinghorse, Suckingham TalkingHand, Cock-in-Hand
RPS - Really Poor Standards
Rural Metro- Rigger Mortis, Retro Mural, Rural Deathrow, Rural Uh-oh, Rectal Shithole, Rural Morons, Roadkill Metro, Squirrel Ghetto, Urinal Metro Oral Rectal (NEPA)
Saint Mary's....Saint Scarry
SkyFlight Care (Coatesville, PA): SkyScare, ScareFlight
EMS - SMU Ottawa Every Medic Suffers So Must U
Scott Twp EMS (STEMS) - Some Times EMS
Sloper and Willen - Sloppy and Willing, sloppy willy, Sloppy but Willing Some Will Continuesly Ass Suck
Southern Columbia Ambulance (columbia county) - southern corruption
S&S Ambulance- Slow and shity
Stat'Im Ambulance- Stab'Em Ambulance
Starcare V (air ambulance in Lincoln, Nebraska): StarScare v, DeathStar V
Stat MedEvac - "splat medevac"
Stofcheck - Stofwreck
TLC Ambulance; Tough Luck Charlie; The Last Chance; Tug Lug and Carry; Torture Little Children; Trish's Little Company
Tri-Lakes - Die-Lakes
TRINITY AMBULANCE- Tragedy
UMC-EMS : Unsatisfied Medics Can't Earn Money (from) State (thanks jocko)
Universal Ambulance macomb mi "U - Haul"
UHMC- Uninhibited Human Major Culling
Valley Air Care= Valley Air Scare "Death From Above"
VCU LifeEvac (Richmond, VA): Lestat 1 (for a while, it seemed they only flew at night)
WAVAC: What, another volunteer's ass canned?
WESTMED - BreastFed
Willie Goss Ambulance - Will he go to hell amb.
Bell Ambulance - If it says bell on the side, your probably dead inside!
FDNY*EMS -When you absolutly, positively, can not afford a cab!
Hatzolah (orthodox Jewish VAC) - operating under a higher medical authority
KCH - Where patients check in, but they don't check out.
LICH (Long Island College Hospital) - Lucky I Can Hop, Likely Imminent Code Here
Maimonides - I'm on my knees '
Medic One-"First In Care, Last On Scene"
Many years ago, rather than try to make any improvements, the mucky-mucks at NYC*EMS decided to have a contest for a catchy slogan. They never did pick a winner, but some notable submissions were: Better too late than never, NYC*EMS - When you positively, absolutely have to be there overnight. (I heard that FEDEX threatened to sue, because they were much faster and more reliable), Remember. You can't spell MESS without EMS.
Fallon Ambulance - Slogan: Help me! I've fallon and I can't get up.
If your company isn't listed send the name and if already existing alternate name Add your idea to our forums
I had no idea how popular this would be. Thanks to all who submitted!
For all who take offence to this list This list is made 99% on reader submissions most of these companies I have never heard of. This list is not derogatory but merely made to poke fun at your company or rival company. In other words: Get a sense of humor!
Last Updated: 03/18/05 13:17
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